Chapter 2 - Blessings

Chapter 2 - Blessings

Renee's POV

I was seventeen when I became pregnant with Bella. I don't regret it at all, for I love her with all my heart. I wasn't unhappy with my life, but I never got the life I dreamt of when I was a little girl. Life wasn't supposed to be this hard. After Bella's birth, I left Charlie, deciding I could make it on my own. I was a struggling artist who made just enough money to pay the bills... most months. I love what I do; however, I've always felt like something was missing.

I tried to find love. Some would say I tried too hard. I had been in my fair share of bad relationships. I was forever catching the eye of the wrong man, and I always fell hard and fast. Only then would I figure out that Mr. Right was Mr. All Wrong.

I've just had my thirty-third birthday and things have changed for the better. I finally feel free! I think I am in love for the very first time in my life, and I owe it all to Phil.

I met Phil when he accidentally crashed into me at the hardware store three months ago. I was reading the back of a picture hook box, looking at the different weights and wondering why it mattered. You nail them into the wall and hang the picture; why the need for so many instructions? Then I found myself on my ass on the ground, gazing up at the most beautiful concerned face. "I am so sorry, I didn't see you there," he stumbled over his words.

He helped me up, and I found myself wincing as I righted myself. "Oh, you are hurt. Please, lean on me." He was so strong, and it was so comfortable leaning into his body. Not to mention that he smelled divine. I gazed up into his eyes, and I was a goner.

I had never been treated like such a lady. I couldn't figure out at first what was holding him back from asking for the sex, but Phil's religious beliefs were so strong. I respected him for that. To be honest, it was a nice change to know that he wasn't after me for that alone. You see, we hadn't even kissed yet. I had barely even held his hand. The attraction I had for him was so strong though; the chemistry was undeniable. He drew me in and showed me a different way to live. It was all so new and exciting.

Phil said the spiritual rebirth of our marriage would be magical and worth waiting for. I was excited and couldn't wait to start this new phase of my life. My only concern was that I had to have the blessing of his father. I was nervous about that, so very nervous. Phil said I had to honestly answer everything that his father asked, because he would know if I was lying. I would do this for Phil. I wanted to change my ways; I didn't want to keep sleeping with men who made me feel unfulfilled. I wanted to be with only Phil, but had no idea how I would cope if his father didn't accept me. I knew Phil well enough by now to know he would never turn his back on his family. The reverent way he spoke about them sometimes made me feel inferior.

His values were just what I wanted Bella to believe in, as I didn't want her to end up like me. I wanted her to save herself for that special person, and be to able to grow old with them. Phil believed in a strong family unit where the male provided for and looked after his family's needs. It was nice to be cared for in that way. It was freeing. I had never felt so tended to; I wanted for nothing when I was with him. Phil believed the youth of today were led astray with the violence and decadence on television and in the media. He had a good point; why did we need to see such violence? I never did like some of those shows Bella watched; they were unsettling. It was certainly a man's right to bring his children up without the sins of the world tainting their minds.

Phil believed that no matter what, family was the most important thing in the universe. I knew Phil would look after us and care for us. He was so concerned with Bella's welfare that I knew this was right. I wanted this for us; he was like the missing part of my soul.

And this is how I came to be sitting in the living room of a small house on the outskirts of Phoenix waiting for his father to arrive.

"Relax, Renee, everything will be fine," Phil soothed me for about the tenth time that morning. I was a bundle of nerves. I had put on a full length dress at Phil's insistence. He asked me to leave my hair down, saying he preferred me this way, natural, with no makeup. I just felt bare and selfconscious. I wanted to please Phil and his father though, so I did as I was told and tried not to fidget. "Just be honest and the truth will set you free," he reminded me. I smiled and nodded at him. I knew that made sense, and that he was right.

We heard a car pull up outside. I saw through the window that it was the same type car as Phil's, a huge black four wheel drive with blacked out windows. This took me by surprise. I could not make out anybody in the car as the engine shut off. My heart was in my stomach doing flips as I tried to keep breathing in and out at a steady rate. God, I thought I was going to be sick.

The driver's door opened, and a young man dressed in a white linen suit stepped out and immediately opened the rear door. Out stepped a tall man dressed head to toe in a black robe. Holy Shit! Phil's father was a priest; no wonder we had never done anything more than hold hands! Things made much more sense now.

He walked with authority up to the front door, and I jumped to my feet, ready to greet this man who might become my father in law.

He didn't speak to Phil; he just nodded, and I watched in wonder. "This is she?" he asked, his tone curt.

"Yes, my father." Phil made no move towards me, they both just stared at me. I felt uncomfortable as I tried to stand still.

I bowed my head a little, and said quietly, "Hello, Father." A small smile graced his lips, and the tension in the room abated slightly.

He motioned me over to the chair in the corner, and said, "Sit." He sat down on the sofa, and I perched nervously on the edge of the chair, trying to calm myself.

"How many men have you been with?" he said, looking me straight in the eye.

Holy crow! My face grew heated and my eyes were as wide as saucers as he went straight into the questioning, not beating around the bush at all.

"Five," I answered, nervous and ashamed. I was here with a man of God who believed there was only one husband for each woman, and I had to tell him that I slept around.

"A whore, my son? A whore? How could you?" he snapped at Phil and rose to his feet, pacing in front of me.

"Please, Father, continue," Phil pleaded with him.

He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I believe you were married before?" he snapped.

"Yes, Father." I felt worthless; was he going to point out all my failings? I was not going to be worthy of Phil; I knew it now.

"Why did you leave?" He looked annoyed and bored. There was no way he was going to approve of our marriage.

"I became pregnant at a young age, and believed that I needed to marry the father for the sake of my child. I never loved him." I was close to tears, and I saw a look of surprise grace his features. Oh hell, that was the last nail in my coffin, wasn't it? He definitely wouldn't approve now that he knew I was single mother.

His tone changed, "How old is your... son?" he asked with interest.

"I don't have a son, Father; I have a daughter, a very beautiful, smart daughter. She is fifteen," I said looking down at my hands. There was silence. I dared to look up and around the room and I was amazed to see the priest smiling. He stood and began to walk towards the front door. As the front door was opened for him by his driver, he looked at Phil and said, "You have chosen well, my son. You will move tomorrow." He then turned to look at me and said, "Welcome to the family." I couldn't help but feel total relief, and tears welled in my eyes.

"Thank you, Father. Thank you." I smiled at Phil. I had passed. We had passed.